1 egg, 1 slice of toast and a small bowl of muesli type stuff,
Middayish Coffee and a small slice of fruit cake.
Soon, Chick lattice and spinach.
A cheat was a chocky biscuit but it was quite big and very nice.
Fairly active day so i think I didn't do myself too much harm.
I will have 2 glasses of red wine, and a coffee this evening.
The wine is a treat as well, I very seldom drink.
Then I will settle down to play TV catchup, Hope I have missed some good stuff or this could be very dull.
Torchwood tomorrow.
Talk to you then.
Wednesday, 27 July 2011
Tuesday, 26 July 2011
Let battle commence.
Is this a blog or an appeal, ah, you decide.
I am fat, need to loose weight, I smoke, need to stop, but because I smoke if I try to run my lungs want to explode after a few seconds. I am mildly arthritic, not helpful ,slightly asthmatic, not helpful, how the hell am I going to get this weight off. I am not an over eater, I like my veg but I like my meat more.
I need help, a plan that I can stick to, I need exercise that will not kill me.
I need to think about this very carefully.
I am fat, need to loose weight, I smoke, need to stop, but because I smoke if I try to run my lungs want to explode after a few seconds. I am mildly arthritic, not helpful ,slightly asthmatic, not helpful, how the hell am I going to get this weight off. I am not an over eater, I like my veg but I like my meat more.
I need help, a plan that I can stick to, I need exercise that will not kill me.
I need to think about this very carefully.
Getting it right,
What ? you may ask am I needing to get right. The answer is huge, It is the rest of the life I have left.
Some things seem to be set and I am unlikely to get my head round how to change those things. Other things I can take nibbles at and make small changes that will impact on yet other things. Some changes are easy and should make life better. If I'm thinking about this it must mean a dissatisfaction with things as they are, this is true in quite a number of things.
Can I live with being not really happy with life as it is? yes. I am able and have put up with worse. So why am I dragging all this up now? Its because I hurt, Inside I hurt.
I think about what was, and things I missed out on, I think about how I have let others down by my actions or indeed inaction.
So if I get down to it and do all I can to make the rest of my life something that has a much more posative impact on those arround me and those I love and care about will I achive all my goals. I don't know, it may not matter what I do, some wounds may never heal. Have I enough time left to win back respect and love that was lost, some times I think so and other times I feel more further away than the miles suggest.
I need a time travel device, If only I could undo some of my great errors, but I cant, I can only try to be a better person now and hope that any small thing I try to do, any way I try to show I care and love might help to bridge the gap.
Some things seem to be set and I am unlikely to get my head round how to change those things. Other things I can take nibbles at and make small changes that will impact on yet other things. Some changes are easy and should make life better. If I'm thinking about this it must mean a dissatisfaction with things as they are, this is true in quite a number of things.
Can I live with being not really happy with life as it is? yes. I am able and have put up with worse. So why am I dragging all this up now? Its because I hurt, Inside I hurt.
I think about what was, and things I missed out on, I think about how I have let others down by my actions or indeed inaction.
So if I get down to it and do all I can to make the rest of my life something that has a much more posative impact on those arround me and those I love and care about will I achive all my goals. I don't know, it may not matter what I do, some wounds may never heal. Have I enough time left to win back respect and love that was lost, some times I think so and other times I feel more further away than the miles suggest.
I need a time travel device, If only I could undo some of my great errors, but I cant, I can only try to be a better person now and hope that any small thing I try to do, any way I try to show I care and love might help to bridge the gap.
Sunday, 24 July 2011
RIP Amy Winehouse
Very sad, just 27 and so very talented.
I do feel though many will say they could see it coming like a train crash. They could well be right.
She will be missed.
I do feel though many will say they could see it coming like a train crash. They could well be right.
She will be missed.
Saturday, 23 July 2011
Winners
2 daughters = 2 winners. Youngest has also had news about a placement that she was hoping for, YES she got it. Great news. Now its the big do we move or don't we question, I will certainly be following that one.
About blogging and other stuff.
Started to add a blog yesterday, then I read what I had written, I though this is rubbish, dumped it and went to bed.
So, blogs, It seems that once you start you have to carry on, I expect its going to be like a drug that you have to take or die, when I say die I mean get killed by daughters who get you into blogging and you had better blog or else. I get a kick reading what they have been up to and reading all the good news. One of my amazing girl has won her place at Plymouth uni, I am so proud.
Again about blogs , My life is not very full, not so much to consider really note worthy, I suppose what I can do is just delve into my head and give you my thoughts on things.
So I will give it a try.
Two days ago on the train heading home from work a bunch of 4 teenagers were playing there music loud and being loud and talking about where the would score some cannabis. To be honest I had 2 stops to go and really didn't give a damn but I saw one bloke who was getting really annoyed and he said to me" bloody kids these days" I just looked at him and shrugged. My thought is, Why is it always bloody kids when its not there fault. If they are not acting in a way that is fitting in with what everyone else considers to be normal do they know, have they been shown, directed, taught, and guided into a way of thinking that helps them be thought of in a better way. If they didn't get this help who is at fault.
That little thought would get me on a soap box for a while.
Had hair cut today, never needed it more. Oh, slightly exited , now going to try to add a picture.
Looks like it worked.
I still have more blog reading to do then I may have more blogging to do.
Cap on this bit. Might be back.
So, blogs, It seems that once you start you have to carry on, I expect its going to be like a drug that you have to take or die, when I say die I mean get killed by daughters who get you into blogging and you had better blog or else. I get a kick reading what they have been up to and reading all the good news. One of my amazing girl has won her place at Plymouth uni, I am so proud.
Again about blogs , My life is not very full, not so much to consider really note worthy, I suppose what I can do is just delve into my head and give you my thoughts on things.
So I will give it a try.
Two days ago on the train heading home from work a bunch of 4 teenagers were playing there music loud and being loud and talking about where the would score some cannabis. To be honest I had 2 stops to go and really didn't give a damn but I saw one bloke who was getting really annoyed and he said to me" bloody kids these days" I just looked at him and shrugged. My thought is, Why is it always bloody kids when its not there fault. If they are not acting in a way that is fitting in with what everyone else considers to be normal do they know, have they been shown, directed, taught, and guided into a way of thinking that helps them be thought of in a better way. If they didn't get this help who is at fault.
That little thought would get me on a soap box for a while.
Looks like it worked.
I still have more blog reading to do then I may have more blogging to do.
Cap on this bit. Might be back.
Wednesday, 20 July 2011
addictive?
Is this addictive?, I'm feeling it could be. Since I started just a few hours ago I cant stop thinking about it. I know I have so much to say and some of that I can't coz It might get me locked up, some opinions your just not allowed to voice these days.
Just made myself a big mug of tea, I mean near bucket size mug.
It's a scary world out there if you have strong feelings about things.
I do feel a bit peed off sometimes about some of whats goes on around me and I know I can do nothing about it due to the fact that it might upset someone to talk about it.
So I conclude that all I can talk about here is all the nice things that go on in life or if it's a bad thing it has to be a very British bad thing.
As I am sure some poor sap in an office( hello little man ) will read this almost as I type it and push a big red button if anything out of place is spoken of and have men in suits at the door in 5 mins I had better watch myself.
If I do get addicted to this I have 2 people to point a finger at, My 2 daughters both of which blog here. I can't put their blog spot thingies here as I haven't asked them and they may not want me to do it, we shall see.
I do hope they read this as I have been missing from their lives for some time and even now I don't see them due to distance and money.
I know my eldest knows I Love and care about her, I wish the youngest knew just as well. It is my own fault no two ways about it, added to the fact that I have little idea what is going on in the Teen world of girls, and how could I, being cut off from it so completely and lets be honest at 53 if I pay too much attention to teen girls I could get a very bad name.
Actual time 8.52 pm gmt of course. Time to stop for now. I do hope I will be slightly interesting .
Enjoy your evening.
Gone
Just made myself a big mug of tea, I mean near bucket size mug.
It's a scary world out there if you have strong feelings about things.
I do feel a bit peed off sometimes about some of whats goes on around me and I know I can do nothing about it due to the fact that it might upset someone to talk about it.
So I conclude that all I can talk about here is all the nice things that go on in life or if it's a bad thing it has to be a very British bad thing.
As I am sure some poor sap in an office( hello little man ) will read this almost as I type it and push a big red button if anything out of place is spoken of and have men in suits at the door in 5 mins I had better watch myself.
If I do get addicted to this I have 2 people to point a finger at, My 2 daughters both of which blog here. I can't put their blog spot thingies here as I haven't asked them and they may not want me to do it, we shall see.
I do hope they read this as I have been missing from their lives for some time and even now I don't see them due to distance and money.
I know my eldest knows I Love and care about her, I wish the youngest knew just as well. It is my own fault no two ways about it, added to the fact that I have little idea what is going on in the Teen world of girls, and how could I, being cut off from it so completely and lets be honest at 53 if I pay too much attention to teen girls I could get a very bad name.
Actual time 8.52 pm gmt of course. Time to stop for now. I do hope I will be slightly interesting .
Enjoy your evening.
Gone
Lots to do
I can see I have a bit of work to do, I will get it all sorted over the weekend I expect untill then make do.
Feelings
At 53 I should know how to get a handle on feelings but sometimes they sneak up on you and suddenly what was a perfectly good day is plunged into a hole of greyness by feelings. Oh don't get me wrong it works very nicely the other way round as well.
So whats got me going today?
Just reading blogs, silly I know but just reading blogs gave me tears of happiness, simple smiles and sadness, These feelings are all ok, on their own but the little buggers came at me all mixed up and there I am felling a bit sad having a chuckle, give me a break.
Thinking, this is a fine start for BLOG 1, I could have started a little lighter but its whats on my mind now so live with it.
Right , so befor I get too far into this I have to find out lots more about this site and how to get the best from it.
So I pause here.
So whats got me going today?
Just reading blogs, silly I know but just reading blogs gave me tears of happiness, simple smiles and sadness, These feelings are all ok, on their own but the little buggers came at me all mixed up and there I am felling a bit sad having a chuckle, give me a break.
Thinking, this is a fine start for BLOG 1, I could have started a little lighter but its whats on my mind now so live with it.
Right , so befor I get too far into this I have to find out lots more about this site and how to get the best from it.
So I pause here.
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